sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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