pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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