I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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