Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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