I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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