If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
