had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
