So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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