just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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