wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
