There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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