maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
