My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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