he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I deserve this hangover.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
