OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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