It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
