can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
