ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
