I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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