The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
