Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
