But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So vagazzling was a success
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
