he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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