I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
