YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
