no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
