The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize