Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
