I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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