Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
