Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
