you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
