ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
