How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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