i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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