i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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