Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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