He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
