i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
