Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
