you didnt know i had herpes?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
