please come you make the beer taste better
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
