found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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