Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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