Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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