doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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