We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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