I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need moral support for this bender
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
