I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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