OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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