drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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