Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
