I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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