why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize