she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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