I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize