she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
