i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
