If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Randomize