We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
