Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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