This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
