the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
