True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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