Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
